GROSS Operation: Lizzy
by Octavian
Summary: A new girl moves in across the street, can Calvin and Hobbes outsmart her, or will she get them first?


*Kitchen*  
  
Mom: "Calvin!"  
  
Mom: "Calvin!!!"  
  
Mom: "CALVIN!!!"  
  
Calvin: "What mom?"  
  
Mom: "Have you seen any vinegar?"  
  
Calvin: "What a dumb question! You know I hate that stuff"  
  
Calvin starts to walk back outside  
  
Mom: "Have you seen that new girl across the street?"  
  
Calvin: "Of course, why would we spend a precious Saturday morning outside making vin-...er, I mean water balloons"  
  
Mom: "Ahem, you, mister, will march yourself outside and hand me those balloons."  
  
Calvin: "Aww..."  
  
*G.R.O.S.S. HQ*  
  
Calvin leaning over side of treehouse:  
  
Calvin: "Darn Mom. She doesn't understand the importance of a G.R.O.S.S. Operation."  
  
Hobbes: "Your mom doesn't understand anything about you"  
  
Calvin: "That's what I've been saying my whole life!"  
  
Calvin stands up  
  
Calvin: "This meeting of G.R.O.S.S. will continue. Dictator-for-Life Calvin, presiding"  
  
Hobbes: "Oyz Oyz!"  
  
Calvin: "No Hobbes, it's 'hear hear!'"  
  
Hobbes: "Whatever"  
  
Calvin: "Now a top secret report from our field scout Hobbes"  
  
Hobbes: "A new, unknown enemy has entered the territory or G.R.O.S.S."  
  
Calvin: "Name?"  
  
Hobbes: "Elizabeth."  
  
(Rustle)  
  
Hobbes: "Did you hear that?  
  
Calvin: "Yeah..."  
  
Girl: "Yah! It's Lizzy!"  
  
Water ballonns fall into the G.R.O.S.S. Treehouse.  
  
Calvin: "Agh! Get the spares Hobbes, the Spares!"  
  
Hobbes: "Got 'em!"  
  
Calvin and Hobbes throw water balloons that miss their targets. Lizzy who is hysterically laughing, runs off to her house.  
  
Calvin: "President Hobbes, go to the Board of Generals and vote on War against Lizzy!"  
  
Hobbes: "This emergency vote has been called to declare war on Lizzy. All in favor say 'aye'"  
  
Calvin: "Aye!"  
  
Hobbes: "Aye! And in a close race, the vote is unanimous, we go to war."  
  
Calvin: "What is the objective"  
  
Hobbes: "Send hate mail"  
  
Calvin: "Bug her."  
  
Hobbes: "Hate Mail!"  
  
Calvin: "BUG HER! You fuzz brain!"  
  
Hobbes:"Pinky!"  
  
Calvin:"You're going to get a pinky in your mouth..."  
  
Hobbes:"Truce"  
  
Calvin:"What!?"  
  
Hobbes:"We're supposed to be fighting against Lizzy."  
  
Calvin:"Oh yeah, Truce."  
  
Hobbes:"I'll get the World Map"  
  
Calvin:"I'll get the dart guns"  
  
*Later*  
  
Calvin:"Okay, which way do we go?"  
  
Hobbes:"West"  
  
Hobbes points in front of him.  
  
*A few paces later*  
  
Calvin:"Where are we?"  
  
Hobbes:"Her backyard."  
  
Calvin:"Somebody shoot me, you led us to the right place."  
  
Hobbes:"Har har."  
  
Calvin:"Okay, on the count of three, we burst out of this bush and fire at her in the  
  
sandbox"  
  
Hobbes:"One"  
  
Calvin:"Two...Three"  
  
Hobbes:"Hey that was my line."  
  
Calvin:"But I was supposed to say it all."  
  
Hobbes:"But tigers know how to count."  
  
Calvin:"Okay, let's just go"  
  
Both:"Yah!!!"  
  
Calvin:"What?! Where is she?...Wait a minute, I kmnow where we are, we're in our backyard. yOu dolt!"  
  
Hobbes:"Okay, so I had the map upside down."  
  
Calvin:"Give it to me."  
  
Hobbes: "No, I am the topographer and the navigator. You wouldn't understand it."  
  
Calvin:"That seems to be the problem becuase you don't either!"  
  
Hobbes:"Wait, wait, look out in our backyard."  
  
Calvin:"It's Lizzy! Hobbes, you're a genius!"  
  
Hobbes:"OF course, I was waiting for you to realize that."  
  
Calvin:"Let's go"  
  
Both: "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"  
  
Lizzy: (screams)  
  
Calvin:"Fire!!"  
  
They both fire their guns which reach their target.  
  
Lizzy: "Ouch!!"  
  
Hobbes:"Yeah, we did it!"  
  
Lizzy: "Yeah but look what I have..."  
  
Lizzy pulls a ridiculously large water gun, and starts shooting it at Calvin and Hobbes.  
  
Calvin:"Retreat!"  
  
Both: "Agh!"  
  
The chase continues until Lizzy runs out of water and Calvin and Hobbes return to HQ.  
  
*G.R.O.S.S. HQ*  
  
Calvin,leaning over side of treehouse.  
  
Calvin:"I can't believe she got us like that, I thought we had her."  
  
Hobbes:"But we hit her."  
  
Calvin:"Yeah, we did, we hit a girl!"  
  
Hobbes:"They were splendid shots."  
  
Calvin:"Bottle caps for our valor."  
  
Hobbes:"Oyz, ozy."  
  
Mom: "Calvin, I brought you lunch."  
  
Calvin:"Thanks, Mom."  
  
Mom walks away.  
  
Calvin"You know, if I've said it once, I have said it a million times..."  
  
Hobbes"Muph...what?"  
  
Calvin"What a great club!"  
  
Calvin and Hobbes spend the rest of their afternoon planning devious plans. 


End file.
